If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize