My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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