it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
smell my finger.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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