sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
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I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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