You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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