I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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