Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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