Don't you send me to vm
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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