i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize