I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize