I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize