Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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