I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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