im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize