You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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