wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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