it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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