dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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