So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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