forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize