dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize