Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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