He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
These tits shall not be calmed
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