Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize