Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize