I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
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I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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