I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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