It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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