Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think I just sharted jello shots
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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