it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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