she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize