i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize