She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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