I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
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Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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