I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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