i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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