it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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