don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize