Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize