In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm getting married
To pizza
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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