Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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