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i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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