I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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