singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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