As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Too much gin, very little bucket
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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