I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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