yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize