1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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