you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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