i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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